Why do moms do this to each other? I know that most of them do it to make themselves feel better. Or they think something and it just runs like diarrhea out their mouths.
Since we moved into our new home in December I’ve been trying to meet as many neighbors as I can. I’ve joined our local neighborhood moms group. I’m meeting lots of new and interesting people. With all the meeting and greeting I have to go through the whole ‘how far apart are you kids? oh my 12 months really? Oh dear.’ *pointy fingers* Oh hi “Kristen says your kids are 12 months apart, here I thought mine were to close at 18 months.”
Those comments do not bother me…if my kids were 22 months, 2 years, or even 18 months apart I would probably say or think the same thing if someone said their kids were 12 months apart.
Yesterday we were standing at the park watching our kids and I met two new mamas. Both of their kids were 18 months old. Just toddling around being extra cute while my kids were jumping, running, screaming.
The whole how old are your kids? where did you move from? what does you husband do? conversation started. One of the mamas said so they are 18 months apart? I said no 12 months 2 weeks apart. She gasped. And I do mean gasp.
She looks at me and says “I think they have procedures to fix those kinds of problems.” I stared at her and wondered did she just say what I think she said? She is looking at my 2 year old right? Holy shit she did just say that.
As I stood there dumbfounded, she looks at me and laughs. She looks at her friend and they both laugh. It wasn’t one of those nervous laughs it was one of those ” hey I just made a funny” laugh. Luckily Cooper attempted to jump off the edge of the play area so I was rescued from this uncomfortable situation and quickly left to take my kids on a walk.
Of course on the walk I brewed, stewed and got pissed. A list of the things I should have said:
- Fuck off.
- Seriously?
- I found out I was pregnant with him at 13 weeks, I felt him move at 15.5 weeks. How exactly would that procedure work?
- I went through IVF *twice* to have my first son.
- Can you hear yourself right now?
- Wow, that wasn’t appropriate.
While I’m sure I’ll see her and her sweet baby girl around town I will be giving her the evil glare until I’m completely over it.
May 2, 2008 at 1:13 pm
OMG!!! I’m speechless!!! How the heck can someone say crap like that???
I’m angry for you! *hugs*
It’s sad that she can’t realize that you are actually truly BLESSED to have those 2 wonderful boys.
May 2, 2008 at 2:00 pm
How can people say stuff like that? And then think it’s funny. I think the “WOW, that was really inappropriate” comment would have been perfect. I always think of these things too late.
May 2, 2008 at 2:07 pm
i really do NOT know what is wrong with some folks. i do know they exist every where and i hate dealing with them. i try to surround myself with good, nice people. it is hard though when these folks choose to just push themselves onto you
May 2, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Wow. Just wow.
And people wonder why I’m anti-social. People like THAT are way too common.
Comparing ourselves to others on a constant basis makes us bitter. Unfortunately the by-product is people who constantly strive to prove they are better, by putting others and their choices down.
I like the “fuck you” response.
Quite often with the second born, I get the “you have your hands full with her eh?” which is code for “you cannot control that little monster”.
Even though I complain at times that she’s the “evil one” and has enough energy to power a small submarine, I wouldn’t change a thing.
May 2, 2008 at 3:51 pm
I’m glad I wasn’t there, I woulda hurt her…tripped her…done it on purpose too…
May 2, 2008 at 4:00 pm
They have proceedures to wire jaws shut too, but doesn’t mean the right people take them up on it
Hugs. Your boys are gorgeous.
May 2, 2008 at 4:07 pm
WTF? Is it crazy women come out of the closet week?
That is a completely inappropriate thing to say, especially to a stranger!
Man, some people…
May 2, 2008 at 9:35 pm
I would freak them out “12 months 2 days which is a while for twins but if he wasn’t ready I didn’t want to rush him”
May 2, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Holy shit! That was soooo rude and inappropriate. I would’ve said something like ‘Excuse me do you know my situation? Do you have one fuckin’ idea what I went through to have these children??’
I’ve heard similar comments and mine are 22 months apart. I will tell people that I had to do IVF both times so they were quite planned and very much a blessing to me when I get comments that are inappropriate or close to being out of line.
People are so stupid sometimes and then to laugh about being stupid…….. ugh
Hugs to you. BTW, you’re boys are sooo adorable and will always be best friends. Your story on being able to have them brings tears to my eyes every time……………
May 3, 2008 at 12:09 am
Wow, that IS inappropriate. I wonder if people like that can really be so oblivious to not realize how rude what they’re saying is.
May 3, 2008 at 2:08 am
I get the comments all of the time about how crazy life with twins is, asking if we used fertility drugs, which one is the evil one, etc. I’ve been known to tell people that what they just said isn’t funny or appropriate. I’ve also mentioned that my children are old enough to understand what they’re saying and that usually shuts them up.
Like I’ve said before, I KNOW that I’ve said dumb, thoughtless things without thinking first, so I get how it happens, but some people really do go over the line. Then to laugh about it and look for validation from her friend? She’s a moron and I would be angry too.
May 3, 2008 at 2:38 am
*************hugs***********
sorry to hear people said those things to you. They really don’t know what they are talking about and what your situation was. But you do have two beautiful boys and who care what they say….
May 3, 2008 at 3:23 am
Yes, people think they are hilarious. I have gotten that same remark plus the old, “You do know how that happens, right?” question about 30+ times in the past few months. I always feel like saying, “No, would you please explain it to me?”.
May 3, 2008 at 12:03 pm
::dies:: OMG, that’s so seriously inappropriate. And rude. And…
Un-friggin-believable. What a total bitch.
May 3, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Wow…I can’t…Wow, I’m speechless that someone actually said that to you and then started laughing! What a bitch!
May 4, 2008 at 4:54 pm
OMG, you are right that was completely inappropriate. Who the hell did she think she was to make such a comment? I would have been contemplating more than a response. I am in agreement with everyone else…what a bitch!
May 4, 2008 at 7:48 pm
We are on similar wave lengths. I just blogged about people and their stupid comments.
I’m sorry you also encounter these people!
Hugs!
May 5, 2008 at 1:19 pm
You know how I feel about this type of comment ‘ and why EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE nice or not nice needs to say (and it´s always the exact same phrase) Wow, you have your hands full.
Ugh.
Yea but my heart is a whole lot fuller than yours!!!!
xoxoxo